Mr. & Mrs. Kottler

Name: Paul Kottler

Current Address: I have none- I live in my motor home and move constantly, trying to stay one step ahead of my alien pursuers. Home Sweet Motor Home.

Current Occupation: Unemployed.

Family: Significant other; I have been married to Bobbi for nearly 36 years

Children / grandchildren / pets (names, ages, accomplishments?): Son Of Kottler Rev. 1.0, lives with his wife and seven year old son in Albuquerque . Son Of Kottler Rev. 2.0, lives in Portland OR and has not yet, to the best of my knowledge, passed on his DNA.

Previous occupations: Just a few highlights: College Professor, Cowboy House cleaner, Cabinet maker, Computer programmer, Computer store owner, Corporate tool, and RV salesman.

What have you been doing for the past 42 years: Avoiding responsibility.

College / other education: University of Wisconsin (BS, MS, PhD)

Interests / Hobbies: Complaining that everything in the world is not exactly the way I want it.

Memorable trips / job assignments / activities: I am currently on the trip of a lifetime. Traveling all over the U.S. for at least a year in the motor home. We have been to California , Arizona , New Mexico , Texas , Louisiana , Mississippi , Alabama , Florida , Georgia , and South Carolina so far. Now we are heading up the east coast. We will hit Dayton at some undisclosed time then go up towards Montana , cross Western Canada , then the Pacific NorthWest and back to California . We plan to keep going until we run out of interest or money.

Parents and siblings - where are they now: My Mom died in 1984. My Father died in Dayton on 9/11/01 . (Driving 6 people 2300 miles from California to Dayton in time for the funeral 3 days later was an adventure in itself). So (in the words of the immortal Popeye), “I am now an orfink”.

Accomplishments / achievements: Not to brag, but, I have managed to avoid institutionalization since high school.

Regrets: Egrets- I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention.

Do you think that your job / life is where you thought it would be when you were in high school? Why? You have got to be kidding. Who in high school could have imagined the world we live in today?

If you could start over, would you make the same choices you did the first time around? Why? What would you do differently? I would refuse to fill out this questionnaire.

Favorite memories of Col. White: I remember Goodys, open houses, football and basketball games, cutting honor study hall to play pool, sneaking off campus to drink lunch, all the usual stuff. I remember the Roots, the friends, the general getting along with each other that went on most of the time. I remember the sweet innocence (I think we went to school before sex was invented). The terror of trying to get a date, the fun of being in large groups rather than couples. Looking at today's high schools, it seems we all went to school in Mayberry.

Teacher(s): Nunemacher, Faul (who illustrated physics problems with beer cans so I would understand, and who knew what I did after the graduation party but didn't tell); Treue (taught me how to speak in public, but I never learned how to spell her name, how embarressing , emberassing … humiliating)

Classes: Great Math, Science, and English programs. They got me through my first 3 semesters of college while leaving me free to enjoy all the 60's had to offer. Of course, then, I nearly flunked out, but that is another story.

Activities: Ed. Note: He did play varsity football… just ask Joel Goldman.

Classmates / pals: At this time I would like to address the issue of the so-called “Root Club”. First of all, none of those publicly identified with this nefarious gang of incipient felons were voluntary participants. As far as is known (or can be revealed) certain illuminati elements from Chaminade planted sleeper cells at Col. White. These cells would occasionally surface to surreptitiously waylay otherwise innocent students at C.W. and implant 1 st generation computer chips (the size of a beer can) in them which caused them to do their bidding. This mind control led to the horrific pattern of behavior that came to be associated with this prototypical street gang. While I apologize for and regret any of my actions on behalf of this group, I do have to tell you that the mind control is lifelong.

In fact, I have just returned from a mission they forced me to undertake to inspect the troops preparing to invade Iraq . (Yes, this same group including Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and the rest of the new world order types has gone on to bigger game) As proof, I offer the enclosed photo of me inspecting those troops

Future plans - Retirement plans: Retire from what? Since I am currently doing nothing to justify my existence on Earth, retirement would mean getting a job. Does Wal-Mart need any greeters?

Words of wisdom / comments / messages for classmates: I think you are a very special group of people. I am happy to have known each and every one of you (except one who I hate and whose ass I would kick today if I saw him) and treasure the memory of my many years in high school.